Good Morning?

             Good Morning, Internet! ßThat statement is dripping with sarcasm and here’s why: I hate mornings. Hate them with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. So, I know I haven’t been writing much lately and that’s because I’m at school and my time is limited and precious. I’ve become a school-crazed robot, and 20 credits don’t help—Future college students, don’t ever do this to yourself. You will learn stuff and you WILL die. In college, you have three options. Good grades, sleep, and some semblance of a social life. You can pick two. I’ve given up sleep. Unfortunately, blogging doesn’t really fit in there, but I miss declaring my inner rantings on the internet for all the world to read…So here I am, writing this post in my Journalism class, my teacher’s voice droning on and on and on...I hear him talking, but I don’t know what he’s saying. Blogging is journalism…right? Yes. Justified. Oh, on a completely unrelated note, I have created a new blog for this class. If you want to know more, go to americascaffeinebuzz.blogspot.com.

            Anyway, back to mornings. They’re terrible. I hate them. Let’s face it. Mornings would be better if they happened in the afternoon. This semester, all of my classes start at 7:45 or 8:00 am. And still, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I rejoice for that extra 15 minutes. However, I am a sadistic, self-destructive psycho who wakes up way earlier than is natural for no apparent reason. I’ve essentially destroyed my ability to sleep at night. If it was possible to train yourself to become an insomniac, that is what I’ve done. I sleep better during the day than I do at night. Why? Because I wake up at freaking 4:00 am every morning, that’s why! I find it easier to focus on my homework in the wee hours of the morning because I have the attention span of a gnat…or a squirrel…on drugs. I need to do work when the world is dead and all is quiet. Otherwise, ADD will cloud my existence and I will fail at life. And now, my sleep cycle hits a wall at 4:00 am whether I want it to or not.

            There is an advantage to waking up before everyone else though. My roommates will never see firsthand how strange/clumsy/awkward/retarded I am during the mornings. Seriously, I feel awake, but my brain doesn’t function properly. Here is an illustration of my most recent morning antics:

'Nuff said...

Party Like It's 2012!

            So, apparently this is the last year before the end of the world or whatever. I don’t believe this at all, and I’m very much looking forward to watching 2012 on January 1, 2013. However, I do think it’s time for some serious New Year’s Resolutions, what with the world ending pretty soon and whatnot. So what’ll it be this year? What mundane life changes will I subject myself to for a while and then wordlessly abandon about halfway through January? I don’t really understand the purpose of a New Year’s Resolution because essentially you’re trying to make drastic life changes in the time it takes for the clock to change from 11:59 pm (New Year’s Eve) to 12:00 am (New Year’s Day). It just doesn’t work. Self-improvement is a work in progress, an accomplishment reached by making every day better than the last. I mean, just think about it. If your New Year’s Resolution was to drink less alcohol…I’m pretty sure well over half of the American population failed that one just last night…

           

            The number one most popular New Year’s Resolution is to exercise and eat healthy foods, which I think everyone could use a little more of. I’m pretty sure my life is an endless battle between my love for food and my desire to not be fat, and oddly I’m okay with that. I just love food way too much. I eat when I’m happy. I eat when I’m sad. I eat when I’m stressed. I eat when I’m bored. I eat when I can’t sleep (which is most nights). Let’s face it, working out “when I feel like it” is not a great strategy. Whenever I’m laying on my couch thinking “Maybe I should work out today,” I just eat something until the feeling passes. And then I feel guilty, which makes me eat more. It’s a vicious cycle. If I didn’t have an Asian metabolism, I would be really fat. When watching The Biggest Loser is a stressful activity, you know you have problems. I’m the type of person who probably should not be watching reality television. I get way too into it. The Biggest Loser is just too much for me to handle. Whoever named that show was ironically cruel. I mean, to commend obese people for adopting a healthy lifestyle while simultaneously mocking them? Brilliant. But cruel. Anyway, this show stresses me out for two reasons. 1) I feel like I should work out more because I’m afraid that Jillian Michaels is going to show up at my door and brutally murder me if I let myself get fat. And 2) People on that show typically lose like 200 pounds…This concept freaks me out because I feel like if I ever lost 200 pounds…I would cease to exist. I could work myself right out of existence. So maybe, I SHOULDN’T work out…New Year’s Resolution? Watch less reality television.  

            In all seriousness though, I am determined to make this year better than last year. So my official New Year’s Resolution for 2012 is this: Live as if the world was ending. Walk a little taller. Work a little harder. Be a little kinder. Let the people I love know I love them. Happy New Year, everyone! Now, go forth and BE AWESOME.